Horoscope has always been very close to my heart. I never gave a damn even to my wife’s squall while reading the horoscope. I knew most people considered horoscope as a pseudoscience, which was based on fallacious assumptions, but I had witnessed its predictions emerging out as facts so many times. My day always started by reading the horoscope and only then, according to the predictions, I planned the rest of my day. As usual, today, I was waiting for the newspaper to hit my verandah. I asked my wife to serve black tea there only. Even after I had finished my tea and crossed the budgeted time for reading the horoscope, there was no sign of the newspaper vendor. My restlessness was boiling down to anger. The moment I saw the fleeting glimpse of the vendor, I stood up from my relaxing chair and yelled, “Is this the time to supply the newspaper? We have got hell lot of other things to do. If you can’t reach us on time, tell me clearly and I will look for another vendor.” The newspaper vendor stalled for a second and then replied apologetically, “My son has been suffering from high fever since last night. We went to sleep after three- thirty in the morning, Sahib Ji. From now onwards,
I will adhere to the timing, please forgive me today”
In a flash, my anger subsided. I did not know how to make up for my unanticipated outburst so I just gave a fake smile. In return, he smiled gratefully.
I returned to my wife and shouted for a dress. Instantly, I realized my loud voice was not reasonable. My irritability was not because of her. She had always been very sincere in all the daily chores. My close friends had suggested me to consult a doctor for my mood swings, many times, but I never cared for that. I always justified and owed my ill-temperament to a cause at hand.
At last, I opened the horoscope page from where my day started. Thereafter, it took me three to four minutes to get upset.
“Oh no, I have to be careful today,” I murmured but my wife’s sharp ear just picked up my whisper and she asked, “Why, what is written in the horoscope?”
“Today’s prediction is very unusual. It says that today I would upset many people.” My face became serious.
“You have already done that,” my wife grinned. Her statement made me uncomfortable. Now,
I know I needed to work on my pointlessly fluctuating demeanor, but as much as I knew myself, I was not a sadist, then why would I upset someone? I called my driver. Once again, my temper up-surged when he informed that he would not be able to come to today. But I controlled my irritation this time.
I was already late for the office. I dressed up quickly and left without having a proper breakfast. While driving, I submerged in deep thoughts. Suddenly, I noticed the signal and applied the brake out of my reflex. The screeching wheels of my car attracted the attention of all the people around there. I felt a little embarrassed.
My eyes spotted a poor little girl wearing half-torn clothes, begging at the traffic signal in the scorching sun without thinking twice that whether her unqualified endeavours would fetch a complete meal for the day or not. I could see how she was plunging to private cars to get some money. It is agonizing to see someone whom you can sympathize with but cannot help to change their destiny.
She looked at me and I flickered my eyes to signify my approval. I wanted her to reach me quickly, but the traffic signal did not support me. For a second, I decided to slow down my car, but the klaxon of the vehicles behind forced me to move without making her smile. During the rest of my journey to the office, her hardships, her struggle, her efforts, and her innocent face were floating in front of my eyes. I was cursing those people who mindlessly bore children just for the carnal pleasure, without thinking of the end results.
“Who gave them the right to have a baby they cannot nurture? Bastards!” I grumbled unconsciously.
I slid my car into the parking area and stepped out with a heavy heart. I was trying to convince myself, reiterating the factors not in my control for not bringing a smile on her face as I knew I had the intent of helping her. No sooner did I think of entering my office than a lady in her forties appeared in front of me. She was looking pale, her clothes were untidy and hair was uncombed. She was not looking exactly like a beggar, but one could see her poverty. From her bearing, I knew she would ask for money. As expected, she came near and said, “Bhaiya, my daughter has not had anything for the last two days, please help me buy a few Rotis and Daal.”
In continuation of my lingering thoughts, just the mention of a hungry child gave way to another outburst. Her demand reminded me of the mistakes they perpetually commit, the casual attitude they have about life and the stubbornness to never learn from their mistakes.
They are the people whose children have to suffer throughout life. They are the people who are the real source of all crimes. They are the people who produce babies for mere pleasure and then toss them out into the sweltering sun.
“Uff… Uff… Buzz off!”
“What happened Bhaiya? My daughter is hungry for the last two days.”
“Shut up… shuttt… up!” I shouted.
She gazed at me with complete disappointment and slowly moved away. After a few seconds, I realized what I had done. I always react first and think later.
I entered the office. No sooner did I sit in my cabin than my Boss called me. I was already late today. My Boss had some urgent work with me, but due to my late arrival, he could not complete his presentation which was required in the meeting. Now, I had made him upset. I linked this to the morning predictions, too.
I generally discuss the issues which irk me continuously, with my wife. I was feeling unsettled today, so I called my wife and shared both incidents. I showed my sympathy towards the poor little girl and explained the reasons for my hatred towards the beggars who were the cause of these things.
She listened patiently. I wanted to hear the justification of my reaction against that lady from her mouth. But unlike my expectation, my wife’s statement disturbed me.
“How can you judge that lady is not a victim of time? Maybe she was not always in such a situation.
May be she had had a good life before but then some ill-fate struck her and left her helpless. Maybe there is a daughter who is actually hungry for the last two days, without any fault of any of them. If your intention is to help someone, then do it. Don’t think too much, God is there to pay you back for your good intentions.” She tried to make me understand.
“I’m still not sure.”
“Okay, let me share an incident,” and then she narrated, “One day, while I was returning from my school, I saw a lady who looked exhausted, pale, untidily clothed and holding some soiled paper in her hand. She was standing with her little daughter at the bus stop. I was expecting that she would come to me and ask for alms. But she stood affixed in her place gazing at me intermittently without uttering a single word. After a few minutes, I felt she must be the victim of ruthless time. I wanted to help, but in the course of the dilemma, my bus arrived and I got on it. I could still feel her daughter’s eyes piercing me and asking me the reason for not helping them,” her voice shivered.
I also felt such an incident was not easy to forget if you have a conscience, and I did not want to go on with the same repentant feeling that my wife had. The last line of my wife made me more restless. I hung up the phone and went out of the office to find that lady. I would get relief only when I helped her.
I combed the area, around 1 KM in radius, but could not find her. I was scanning all the beggars while searching for her. Today’s prediction was floating in front of me. I was just counting the number of people whom I had upset since morning. I was also adamant that I would not go home without bringing a smile on the face of at least one person.
Suddenly, I saw that lady sitting on the ‘pakka’ beside a hotel.
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