I LOVE CHEWING GUM…
I could hear the voice of my wife vividly but did not have the energy to respond. This was her third futile attempt of getting an acknowledgment from me. I squinted at the wall clock, it was 8:45 AM. Last few months had been tough, and I had not been able to progress as much as I had wanted to, as fast as I used to. I had been working really hard, pushing myself to the limits. I gathered all my strength and forced myself out of the bed, but a sudden sensation of vertigo made me lose my balance. I felt strong dizziness and clasped the handle of the chair kept near the bed to keep myself from falling. The chair slipped a bit and I fell back on the bed with a thud.
“Oh God, what is happening to me?” I murmured and was still waiting for the spasm to die down when my wife reached, only to find me holding my head down and eyes closed. She blurted out everything she wanted to say in one go, “Why do you stretch everything like chewing gum? I have told you to take care of your health countless times, but you are one stubborn person who doesn’t have time for yourself. Your organization will not shut down if you take leave for a few days. Just see your health condition.”
I looked at her, exhaled a deep breath and said, “What happened to my health? I’m perfectly okay.”
“Yeah, yeah, why not? For the last five years ‘I’ have been taking the medicines of diabetes and pressure,” she grinned speaking sarcastically, emphasizing on ‘I’ and reminding me of my health issues.
I loved the way my wife pulled my leg even in the worst of times. Despite my discomfort, I proudly replied, “So what? Nowadays doctors compliment diabetes and stress. They call them lifestyle diseases.”
A mere glance at my wife and one could easily guess that she had left her kitchen work in haste and come upstairs straight to me. A flour mixture on both her hands signified her unfinished work. She must have heard the chair scraping against the floor and my thud on the bed. I knew she loved me a lot but did not know how to express it. I told her to return to the kitchen and finish her work as I was already late for the office. She shook her head and gave a disgusted look to me. This was a striking signal which meant there was definitely something wrong.
I asked, “What happened? Why are you making faces?”
“Enough of your office! I will take an appointment with Dr. Paresh Nandani today, and that’s where we will go.” She seemed determined.
“But why, dear? I am okay, I know you care a lot about me, but it’s not required,” I filled her in my arms. A few alluring words coupled with some charismatic gestures were enough to mellow her down and bring tears to her eyes. She held my hands in protest and said, “Today I will not listen to anything. You have to come with me.” Lovingly, she thwacked her hand lightly on my chest.
I debated launching into a speech about my importance in the office, but I could not refuse her behest since she seldom requested anything of me. The way her face lit up after realizing that she would have me to herself for an entire day made me suspect that my health was only a pretense for her own personal agenda. Touched by my wife’s compassion and girlish excitement, I began to feel a bit better.
I emailed my boss that I would not be coming to work and eagerly awaited his inevitable approval. After receiving his response – “No problem, and best of the luck at the doctor!” – I busied myself with work emails. Before I knew it, I had answered all forty-two of the unopened messages in my inbox. It was not even 10 A.M.
A breakfast of my choice was waiting at the dining table. I forgot everything and gorged myself at breakfast. I did not leave an inch for anything else. Even the half glass of water was finding it difficult to settle within my abdomen. I did not realize when my whirling sensation went off. I was feeling good and decided to get some fresh air. I reached my terrace where I had made a small library, which was overloaded with management books out of my sheer likeness if not the obsession of reading them. I stood in front of the book racks and was fiddling to choose the right book which could help me bring my performance back on track as before.
Fortunately, my eyes stuck on the very special rows where I had kept all my trophies, certificates, and mementos. I came near the rack and gazed at my trophies awarded for ‘EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR’, ‘MAXIMUM CONTRIBUTOR IN THE PROFITABLE PRODUCTS’, ‘IDEA MAN OF THE COMPANY’, ‘GAME CHANGER OF THE YEAR’, ‘BEAT THE CHALLENGER OF THE YEAR’ and it went on and on. My eyes moistened. I picked up one trophy which was awarded to me for the ‘BEST BRANCH MANAGER OF THE YEAR’. Once again, I blushed at the sight of my own achievements. It acted as an important ingredient in rebuilding my confidence.
I picked up all the certificates and kept on flipping and revisiting my achievements again and again. It took me 12 years to reach this level, how could I be a failure? I had been a performer since I joined the company. “BORN TO WIN” was the signature of my email. Was that my arrogance or overconfidence? Or I had forgotten the best practices. It ignited an uneasy feeling in me.
And then I brought out all my diaries of the last twelve years just to revisit my daily work with an intention to jot down the best practices. I was aware that my professional career had not been running smoothly for the last couple of months, but I had not left the hope of bouncing back again. That was the reason I started stretching myself beyond my capacity. I did not want to leave a single stone unturned which could help me succeed. Excitedly, I started flipping the pages of my diary and drifted off in the past. My reverie broke when suddenly my wife emerged at the door and summoned me to lunch.
Still feeling heavy from breakfast, I could think of nothing but the work I was missing. I had not stayed home on a working day in years, and I was already eager to return to my familiar desk. Besides, I had been around long enough to know that each year, my boss recommended a few associates for a promotion. Given my past record, I felt that it could be my year-or, more accurately, could have been my year. Winners don’t skip work. Desperate to return to office, I turned to my wife. “Look, darling, I know you worry about me, but please try to understand that for a few months, my performance has not been up to the mark and it is very difficult for me to accept this. I don’t want to waste a minute when I could actually be advancing in my career. I would like to remind my boss of my dedication as soon as possible.” Already heading towards the door,
I looked back and assured her, “Wait for my call. The moment I am free, I will let you know.”
Although I could read from her expressions that she wanted to say, “I know you will not call me,” the actual words she shouted were, “Take care of your health.”
My car zoomed out from her eyes within a few seconds. I fizzled with excitement. There was no stopping my racing mind which frantically interwove ideas, plans, and strategies that would impress my boss. How pleased he would be that I showed up to work, after all! As I slid out of my car, my steps lightened, my heartbeat quickened, and my expectations rose.
I was a few steps from my boss’ cabin when a frustrated shout erupted from within. A shaken facility boy emerged with a tray in his hand. Curious, I intercepted the boy and with a firm grip on his shoulder, enquiring about the yelling. “Boss is in there with his associate, Siddharth Sir,” he replied noting my apparent urgency.
I waited for a few seconds for the facility boy to leave the scene before I leaned against the door and put my experienced ear to work. Both were discussing the annual TALENT HUNT’, the official name of the corporate promotion program. I was also considering myself as a strong contender for this project. I puffed up with pride knowing that I was a strong contender for an executive management position. My assumptions were correct. They were sorting out the candidatures for this. Although I felt unethical to hear their discussions, I could not resist myself so I continued to do the same. “Only three positions are left for this, have you finalized yet? I mean, we have to nominate the candidates by this week,” Siddharth spoke.
“Yes, I am clear about two candidates, they have good potential. Both are newly recruited, they can do wonders, but I am unable to gain confidence in the third one,” my Boss said.
“Who is the third one?” Siddharth asked curiously. “Rishi Sahai,” my Boss’s voice was muffled, possibly because he was always in a habit of chewing gum, but it was good enough to shock me that I was a ‘questionable’ candidate.
“Rishi Sahai? He would be perfect!” I breathed a sigh of relief as Siddharth rained well-deserved praise upon me. “He is quite a performer, and as far as I remember, you have always appreciated him. In fact, it’s odd that you didn’t promote him years ago. Is he not capable of undertaking bigger responsibilities?”
“No, that is not the reason,” my boss refuted. “Then what is holding you back?”
“How many years have you held a supervisory role?” “Almost fifteen years…” Siddharth’s voice trailed off. “Well, then you know that growth does not come with the number of years spent in the industry – it comes when strategy meets opportunity.”
My boss’ corporate buzzwords were lost on me. Thankfully, Siddharth too did not understand, either. Once more, he asked my boss why he refused to promote me.
Even before he could deliver his response I felt all the positivity, energy, determination, sincerity, loyalty, aspirations, and dreams of that morning shattered. Yet, despite my dejection. I couldn’t leave without hearing his reply.
“Because I LOVE CHEWING GUM. It doesn’t require to be swallowed after its sweetness gets over. Once you suck all the sweetness from gum, you can just spit it out,” and he laughed loudly.
I did not know whether Siddharth had understood his modus operandi or not, but I had.
